Windowpanes
by A. Price
Summary: This is a series of vignettes written in no particular order about the lives of Buffy and Spike in my fic For Her
1. Default Chapter

******  
  
Show and Tell  
  
"Can you please come to school with me tomorrow?" Brenna pleaded with Spike.  
  
"Sweetie you know about Daddy's allergy, he can't go out in the sun." Buffy patiently explained.  
  
"Can't he take his blanket ?" Brenna pouted at her daddy, "I told my teacher about his allergy, she said she would close the blinds tomorrow."  
  
"What's so important, pet?" Spike asked as she crawled up on his lap.  
  
"It's a suprise, but it's very 'portant."   
  
"I suppose I could take the blanket ,can't you give me a hint?" Spike told her.  
  
Brenna solemnly shook her head, "No, it's a surprise."  
  
The next morning Buffy went into work late she drove Spike with his blanket to the school. They followed Brenna to her class thankful the hallways were hid from the sun, Buffy peeked into the classroom first, sure enough the kindergarten teacher had secured the blinds shut. Brenna bounced in ahead of them and took her seat. Mrs. Miller the teacher smiled at them, "I'm glad you could make it, she's been very excited about this."  
  
"Thank you for making it possible." Spike nodded towards the closed blinds.  
  
"No problem. You can have a seat in the back until it's time." The teacher pointed towards a table in the back of the room.  
  
Mrs. Miller took the roll call and then announced it was time for "Show and Tell", she asked if anyone had anything to show and tell that morning. She grinned as Brenna's hand went up,  
  
"Okay, Brenna, you can be first."  
  
Brenna gave a wide grin as she stood in front of the room, "My show and tell is, " she pointed to the back of the room, "My new daddy! Come here, daddy."   
  
Spike couldn't help but grin right back at her as he walked up to the front of the room and stood by his daughter.  
  
***********  
  
Old habits die hard  
  
Spike put the last dish in the dishwasher and put a plate of food in the refrigerator for Buffy. She was working late tonight. "Brenna, Tierney, go start your homework. I'll be right there to help you."  
  
He let out a sigh as he turned on the dishwasher, he'd become domesticated that's all there was too it.  
  
"Daddy! Brenna turned the channel from what I was watching!" Tierney's voice squealed from the livingroom.  
  
The sound of the name "Daddy" never failed to put a smile on his face even one of the girls were whining it. "No one is watching anything until homework is done. You two know the rul......"  
  
The shrill ring of the telephone interruppted his lecture. Tierney went for the phone, at six years old she had just started answering it properly, "Hello, Smythe residence." She grinned at her dad, 'Yes mam, here he is."   
  
Spike took the phone from her, "Hello."  
  
"Is this William Smythe? Buffy Smythe's husband?" A pleasant voice asked.  
  
"Yes this is William Smythe." He answered his forehead wrinkled with concern.  
  
"I'm Melinda Bailey from Bartlett General Hospital, I'm sorry to have to inform you, you're wife has been in an accident....."  
  
"Mr. Smythe" The voice sounded into an empty room.  
  
He dropped the phone and gathered the girls running with them to the next door neighbor, Mrs. Macalvey. After explaining what was wrong she agreed to watch the girls and hurried him on his way to the hospital with a promise to call her as soon as he knew something. He practacally flew tp the hospital and barrelled through the ER doors. "Buffy Smythe? Where is she?" He called out before he made it to the desk.  
  
"Mr. Smythe? I'm Melinda Bailey, wait here and I'll see if you can go back yet." She dissappeared down a hallway and luckily made it back in time to prevent Spike from tearing down the door that led to the exam rooms. "Follow me she's in trauma 2."  
  
She led him to a small room and opened the curtain to show him Buffy lying on a gurney, one eye was swollen closed and her chin was stitched, various cuts some stitched covered her arms. He rushed to her side taking her hand, "What happened?"  
  
"A drunk driver happened." The doctor answered for her, "You're wife is going to be fine, she has some bruising and some seriuos contusions that needed stitching, but all in all she's very lucky. If he had been driving any faster she might not be here."  
  
"Are you really okay?" He asked as he pushed the hair off of her forehead and placed a gentle kiss there.  
  
"I'm okay, just achy and tired." She answered with a wan smile, she took his hand and squeezed it, "Really I'm okay." She assured him as the nurse gave her an injection of pain medicine.  
  
"The man who did this - what happened to him?" Spike asked frowning.  
  
"He's got a few bruises and the police are talking to him now." The Doctor informed him as he wrote something on Buffy's chart, "I'm going to keep her a couple of hours at least just to watch her, but I think she'll be okay to go home tonight. I'll check on you later." He patted Buffy's arm before he left the room.  
  
"Where are the girls?" Buffy asked trying to sit up.  
  
Spike gently eased her back down, "With Mrs. Macalvey. I should go call her, will you be okay for a minute?"  
  
"I'll be fine," Buffy closed her eyes. "Tell them I love them, okay?"   
  
"I will. I'll be right back after I sort this out." He told her as he left the room.  
  
"Sort out? Spike?" Buffy was confused for a moment, then realization hit her. "No, Spike!" She called but he was already gone, she tried to get off the gurney but realized she wasn't going anywhere without help.  
  
Spike immediately noticed the policeman leaving trauma room 3 on his way out to the phone, his eyes flashed yellow as he thought about the carelessness of the man inside that room the man who could have easily taken his world away tonight. He looked up and down the hallway before cautiously stepping in the room. It would be so easy to kill this man make him pay for hurting Buffy, he stepped closer to the bed. The man had obviously passed out, Spike reached for the pillow and as he picked it up a strange thing happened, he heard three voices in his head, "Spike, how could you?" and then two smaller voices calling out for their "Daddy." He lie the pillow back down and left the room. After calling Mrs. Macalvey, he went back to check on Buffy.   
  
"Did you have trouble finding a phone?" She asked suspiciously.  
  
"No, found it just fine." He answered with a sigh.  
  
"You were gone a good while." There was an unasked question in her eyes.  
  
"You have something to ask me?" He asked as he came and stood by the gurney.  
  
"You didn't do anything.....did you?" Her voice was hesitant.  
  
"Do you really think I did?" He asked somewhat hurt even though he alone knew how close he'd come to doing something he would have regretted.  
  
"No, but sometimes......when it comes to me and the girls....you...you don't always think straight. And before you get angry I want you to know I know that it's only because you love us so much."  
  
She offered him a teary smile.  
  
"I do love you more than anything. And I did think about ripping his throat out for what he's done to you. But ....I didn't." Spike took her hand again, "The pathetic excuse for a human being is sleeping it off in the room next door." He held her hand to his mouth and softly kissed the back of it.  
  
She smiled sweetly at him, "I love you, you know."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
*************  
  
Father knows best  
  
"She's been invited to the junior prom." Buffy whispered to Spike as Tierney walked in the room.  
  
"She's not a junior. She's only a sophomore." Spike declared as if that meant there was no way she could go.  
  
"She's been invited by a junior boy, she can go to the dance." Buffy explained.  
  
"No, she can't." Spike argued back.  
  
"She'll have curfew and no party afterwards, just to the prom and back." Buffy began the compromise.  
  
"Daddy, can I ask you something?" Tierney smiled sweetly at him.  
  
"Of course, sweet." He answered just as sweetly.  
  
"Do you trust me?" She asked her tone serious now.  
  
"What?" Spike asked surprised this was not the question he had expected.  
  
"Do you trust me?" She repeated the question.  
  
"Of course I trus.....whoa, wait a minute this one of those reverse psychology things isn't it?" Spike nodded, "I know you want to go to the prom and you think by asking me if I trust you then I can't dissallow you to go."  
  
"Mom!" Tierney began to pout.  
  
Buffy shrugged apolgetically, "Spike?" Buffy turned to him and smiled the smile that promised all kinds of good things later at him.  
  
"Please daddy?" Tierney begged her eyes wide.  
  
"Fine, but you will go straight to the prom and then home. There will be no partying afterward." He tried to sound forceful.  
  
"Thanks!" She hugged her mom tightly.  
  
"Hey, what about me?" Spike asked with a roll of his eyes, "Why'd she get the hug?"  
  
"Because I know she's the one who convinced you." Tierney hugged her dad.  
  
"Whatever happened to ' father knows best'?" He sighed as his girls left the room discussing dress colors.  
  
**********  
  
When Love and Hate Collide  
  
"Yes, I'll be in touch. Thank you." Buffy's voice cracked as tears rolled down her cheeks.  
  
"What's wrong, luv?" Spike found her by the kitchen phone crying her heart out, he quickly gathered her into his arms.  
  
"He's gone." She sniffled against him.  
  
"Who's gone?"  
  
She pulled away from him, "That was my stepmother, my dad......he had a heart attack today, he's dead."  
  
"Oh, Buffy. I'm so sorry." Spike was sincere to Buffy's grief but part of him had never reconciled how Hank Summers had treated his girls when they needed him most. To give the man credit he had the last few years tried to make up for the past, but in Spike's opinion it was too little too late.  
  
"I know he......he wasn't always a good father. But there were good times, I remember them. The Ice Capades and him holding my hand on Halloween when I went trick or treating. And when I first moved to Sunnydale, he did try.....for a little while anyway.. and now.....now we never get the chance to..." She sobbed again and held him a little tighter.  
  
"Buffy, I know you wish there was more. But you did have those good early memories and he has tried the last few years. It doesn't make it easier but you know he was trying." Spike held her to him.  
  
"I know, there have been times I hated him in the past and then he has really tried lately and I love him for it and now I almost hate him for leaving again, just when we were getting okay. I know that it's not his choice this time though.. Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?" She asked reaching for a napkin off the counter.  
  
He grinned at her, "I would think that you and I know the answer to that better then anyone, pet."  
  
She gave him a small smile, "I guess you're right about that." She sniffed again, "I'm going to call Dawn now. Thank you."  
  
"Your welcome, pet." He kissed her hair and left her to grieve with Dawn in private.  
  
********  
  
Beginnings  
  
"You look like your gonna pop, Niblet." Spike commented from the bedside.  
  
"Thanks so much, Spike. Your a ray of sunshine in my sea of pain." Dawn spat at him as Buffy smiled from the other side of the bed.   
  
"Shawn is on his way, Dawn." Buffy patted her sister's hand.  
  
"He better be, this is all his fault anyway." Dawn frowned over the mound of her very pregnant belly.  
  
"Sweetheart!" Shawn came through the labor room door and kissed his wife.  
  
"You're here, I'm so glad." She began to tear up her anger from a moment before leaving.  
  
Spike raised his eyebrows at the sudden change.  
  
"We'll leave you two alone a little while." Buffy motioned for Spike to follow.  
  
"I've never seen Niblet so grumpy and did you see that mood swing?" He shook his head.  
  
"Spike, have you ever been around a woman in labor?" Buffy raised her eyebrows at her husband.  
  
"Well, no. Are they all like that?" He frowned,"Were you like that?"  
  
"Probably worse then that. You'll have to ask Dawn about it." Buffy kissed his cheek, "But not now."  
  
Hours later......  
  
"There's my Carson." Dawn cooed at her son as he walked into the room with Buffy, Spike and the girls.  
  
"Mommy!" The little boy squealed when he saw his mom, a small bundle wrapped in her arms.  
  
"Do you want to see your sister?" Dawn smiled as she pulled the blanket away and showed off the baby.  
  
"She's red." Carson noted as he stared at his sister, "Hi, Kaylee." He gently touched one of her small fists.  
  
Later when the baby was back in the nursery, Buffy along with Spike and the girls stood outside the window staring at her. "She's a pretty baby." Brenna noted with a thoughtful look on her face, "Can we have another sister or maybe a brother?"   
  
"Can we?" Tierney asked with a smile.  
  
Spike looked to Buffy to answer the question. Buffy smiled at her daughters and put an arm around each of them, "I don't think so, sweethearts. I think we're a perfect family just as we are."  
  
Spike smiled over the girls at her as Brenna and Tierney thought about it, "You're right, mommy." Brenna agreed as she took Spike's hand.  
  
********  
  
The sounds of Silence  
  
"Bye sweeties, be good for Aunt Dawn and Uncle Shawn." Buffy and Spike waved as the car drove away in the dusky darkness.   
  
Buffy turned and walked up the driveway to the front door, "You coming?" She called over her shoulder.  
  
"In a minute." Spike sighed as he watched the taillights of the car dissappear at the corner.  
  
He walked into the house calling to Buffy, "Can't believe your sis and Shawn want them for two weeks."  
  
"Hey if they want to take care of four kids for two weeks at the beach then all I can say is thank you. The girls are going to have a great time." She giggled from the kitchen.  
  
"But what are we going to do without them here?" He grumbled as he locked the front door.  
  
"If you can't think of anything we can do while their gone, then I'm really worried about you." She laughed again.  
  
"Oh, I can think of plenty of......." His voice trailed off as he finally noticed the trail of clothes, his wifes clothes leading to the kitchen. He followed the fabric trail laughing, he found Buffy propped against the counter completely nude, he raised his eyebrows at her, "Comfy?"   
  
"It's just so hot out." She batted her eyelashes at him.  
  
He had her in his arms in seconds, his cool body against her warmer one, "Does this help?" He grinned into her hair.  
  
She wrapped her arms around him, "My own personal cooling unit." Her lips met his as she wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her to thier bedroom.  
  
Many hours later he lay with her wrapped around him, "Do you hear that?"   
  
She craned her head listening carefully, "I don't hear anything, Spike."  
  
He grinned, "That's the sound of silence.....we haven't had that 'round here for awhile."  
  
She rolled towards him, "You miss them already don't you?"  
  
He kissed her , "I do, luv. You too?"  
  
"Me too, but it's nice to have some time alone."  
  
He groaned as he gave her a squeeze of his own, "Alone is good, too"  
  
They melted into each other - "I guess I don't have to worry about you afterall." She giggled against him.  
  
*******  
  
TBC 


	2. more windowpanes

The Cookie Caper  
  
"You can buy the lemon kind or the oatmeal kind or the mint kind or the ones with the icky coconut or those plain ones or....." Brenna stood before him in her little brown uniform her beanie a bit crooked as she explained about the cookies.  
  
"Let me look at that, sweetie." He took the pamphlet from the little girl, "Lots of cookies here."  
  
"Yep, whichever troop sells the most gets a prize." She grinned at him, "So can we just order a whole bunch of them?"  
  
He laughed softly, "I don't know about that, pet. We can order some though and then maybe your mom can take you to some of the neighbors."  
  
"Okay, I really want to win though. It's a pizza party for our troop."  
  
A week later.....  
  
"How are you doing with the cookie sales?" Spike asked Brenna over supper.  
  
The little girl sighed, "We're in second place and we have to turn in our orders day after tomorrow."  
  
"Second place, huh?"   
  
"Yeah, guess we won't get the prize." Brenna pushed her peas around on her plate.  
  
"It's not over yet, sweet." Spike grinned at her over his plate and winked.  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows at him as if to ask what he had up his sleeve. He gave her a secretive smile.  
  
After the girls were in bed he picked up the order form and kissed Buffy's cheek, "I'm going out for a bit, I'll be back."  
  
"Spike, where are you going?" She asked suspiciously.  
  
"I'm gonna help Brenna." He told her as he walked out the door.  
  
An hour later he returnd a huge grin on his face, "I think Brenna's troop is in first place now." He waved a napkin with writing on it in front of Buffy's face.  
  
"What did you do?" She asked as she looked at the napkin, "Spike, you went to a demon bar and sold cookies?" She asked incredously.  
  
"She wanted to win and I wanted to help." His smile was full of satisfaction, "Now we have to give these guys normal names on the order form, I know where to deliver them and they all paid upfront." He handed her the cash with a flourish.  
  
Buffy began to laugh, "I can't believe you did this."  
  
"It was worth it if her troop wins." He smiled shyly and shook his head "I guess there isn't even a trace of the Big Bad left is there?"  
  
"Maybe, a trace. You're a good daddy, you know that?" She kissed him.  
  
"It just seems like this a little thing and it will make her happy. I like my girls happy."   
  
Buffy took his hand, "You want to make me happy, follow me." She winked at him suggestively as she led him down the hallway.  
  
***********  
  
Matter of Trust  
  
"I don't think this is a good idea at all." Spike shook his head at Angel.  
  
"Spike, I can do this. I can help." Buffy put her hand on his arm.  
  
"Nah, you haven't done this kind of thing in a long time." Spike shook his head again.  
  
"Spike we could use Buffy's help on this. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think she could do it." Angel shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"I don't like it at all." Spike lips sealed in a tight line.  
  
"I think I'm going back to my hotel, let you two talk about this. Call me when you've reached a decision." Angel stood and went to the door.  
  
"Angel, I really think that I can do this, it's really not a problem." She closed her eyes briefly took a deep breath and glanced at Spike. Although he appeared calm, she could feel his anger radiating as she spoke the words.  
  
"Whatever, it's her decision, I suppose." Spike stood and went to the kitchen.  
  
Angel and Buffy cringed at the sound of slammng cabinet doors. "Buffy are you sure?" Angel asked as he opened the door.  
  
"He'll be okay, I'll talk to him." She gave him an unconvincing smile as she closed the door.  
  
Buffy took another deep breath as she walked into the kitchen, "Those cabinet door misbehaving again?" She asked with no small amount of sarcasm.  
  
"Yeah, that's it." Spike slammed another door for emphasis.  
  
"You're going to wake the girls up if you don't stop that." She shrugged her shoulders, "Then you can explain why their daddy is slamming doors."  
  
He sighed as he sat down at the table, "Buffy, I really don't want you involved with anything remotely connected to slaying anymore, it's too dangerous for you."  
  
"So you think I'm not up to a little undercover work?" She sat down across from him, "Or is it that you think I'm out of shape, can't handle a fight?"  
  
"I know you can handle a fight, I'm the one who still works out with you in the basement. That's not the reason, Buffy - you have two children to worry about now. What if something were to happen to you? What would the girls do? What would I do without you?" He reached across the table covering her hands with his.  
  
"First, nothing is going to happen to me. Secondly if it did, you would take care of the girls," She paused at the pained look on his face, "Wouldn't you?"  
  
"Of course I would want to take care of the girls.....but I doubt that I could. I'm sure if you weren't around that there would be people who wouldn't want the girls with me." He hung his head and began to play with the fringe on a placemat.  
  
"You think...." It hit her suddenly, "You think that Xander and Giles...they would try to take the girls?" She shook her head at him, "No, Spike. You are Brenna and Tierney's daddy now."  
  
"I know that, but I can't bear the thought of losing you and losing my girls too and it doesn't matter how much your friends make nice with me now, they will never truly trust me." He sighed, "I love you Buffy, I just ...I had never thought much about this until Angel asked you for help with this case."  
  
"I'm glad you told me what was bothering you. You have to trust me to make the right decision about helping Angel though, I still like to think I can help out." She stood and went to his side, leaning over she kissed the top of his hair, "And don't worry about the others okay."  
  
ONE WEEK LATER  
  
"Spike, could you come here?" Buffy called as she walked through the door with the mail. She was opening a thick manila envelope with an LA address. Yes - Angel had come through she thought happily as she looked at the contents.  
  
"Be right, there." He walked down the hallway, "Had to finish up my turn at Hi Ho Cherry O" He noticed the large envelope, "Is that good news or bad news?"  
  
"I think it's good news, I hope you'll agree." She smiled brightly as she handed him the envelope and papers it held.  
  
He quickly scanned the paperwork, "This is.....it's the paperwork for me to adopt the girls.....all nice and legal....no questions about my background. When? Why?" He sat down on the couch.  
  
"It's time for you to be more then their daddy in name, what you said last week it made me think, if something did happen - I just thought you're adopting the girls would be the next step for our family." She began to chew on her bottom lip nervously, "If you don't want to......."  
  
He was off the couch in seconds pressing her close to him, "Don't want to? I want to, I would love to! I can't believe you did this......" He kissed her soundly, "Guess we should ask the girls?"  
  
"Brenna, Tierney..." Buffy called the little girls into the livingroom and tried to explain what the adoption meant.   
  
A half hour later the little girls sat on either side of their daddy watching tv as he explained how to spell thier new last name........  
  
********  
  
You Drive Me Crazy  
  
"Brakes! Brakes!" Spike yelled as the car skidded to a stop on the deserted parking lot.  
  
"You don't have to yell, daddy." Tierney turned to him with her mother's pout.  
  
"It seems to be the only way to get your attention." He answered with a frown.  
  
"I stopped didn't I? We didn't hit anything." She smiled sweetly at him.  
  
"Not this time, but how about last night - the Sanders trash cans?" He cut his eyes at her.  
  
"They shouldn't have been that close to the road." She answered with her father's smirk.  
  
"It was trash night, they were on the curb." He answered with roll of his eyes.  
  
"I know you weren't this hard on Brenna." She pouted again.  
  
"That's not going to work, Tierney Anne. If you want me to teach you to drive you have to pay attention, this has nothing to do with your sister."   
  
"Cause she's perfect." Tierney sulked.  
  
"She is not perfect, Tierney. Brenna makes mistakes too."   
  
"But everyone thinks she's perfect, she makes great grades, she's on all kinds of committees at school, the teachers are all "this is Brenna's little sister, she'll never live up to her." Tierney whined.  
  
"They really say that?" Spike asked his eyebrow raised.  
  
"Well no not all of it , but yeah, I'm always gonna be perfect Brenna's sister." Tierney sighed.  
  
"So you want another sister - someone that nobody likes?"  
  
"No, I love her she's just hard to follow sometimes at school and even now with this driving thing."  
  
I'll tell you a secret, she's the one that took out that pretty tulip bed your mom had in the front yard." Spike grinned conspiratorily at his daughter.  
  
"Really?" Tierney grinned.  
  
"Yeah, but you can't tell that I told you. It's our secret." He straightened out his seatbelt, "Now are you ready to go again?"  
  
**********************  
  
You Always Hurt the One You Love  
  
Brenna unlocked the kitchen door quiet and cautiiously. She was feeling a bit tipsy and was sure if she could just get to her bedroom she'd be okay.  
  
As she felt her way through the dark livingroom a lamp suddenly switched on, "You're getting in a bit late aren't you?" Spike asked from his place on the couch.  
  
"Daddy? Why are you sitting here in the dark?" She replied trying to sound perky and innocent.  
  
"Waiting for you. You're a half hour late." He sniffed the air wrinkling his nose, "And you've been drinking?"  
  
"It was just one wine cooler, maybe three." She tried to sound mature, "And I am seventeen now."  
  
"Last time I heard the legal age to drink was twenty one, sometimes I do get behind on the news, did they change that ?" He asked his tone calm.  
  
"No....but daddy, all the other girls were having them and they said it wasn't like real alcohol." Brenna defended.  
  
"You're a smart girl, Brenna, did you really believe that?" He asked shaking his head.  
  
"Okay, no I didn't believe it. But no harm done, I'm home safe and sound. Good ole' dependable Brenna." She marched angrily past him towards the hallway.  
  
"You're grounded for two weeks, to school and home only. We'll talk about phone tomorrow." He stood up to follow her.  
  
"You are being completely unfair!!! I never get in trouble, I do what I'm supposed to and one time... one time I decide to do something and you act like I'm a criminal! Let 's talk about your mistakes, when you were young, I think they are far worse then mine, at least I didn't end up a vampire, who killed hundreds of people." She threw the words at him like a dagger.   
  
Spike stood silent as he listened to the hateful rant, his face fell as he tried to battle his warring emotions and hurt.   
  
She knew as soon as she had said the words that it was wrong....but she wanted to hurt him like he had hurt her. She'd never seen him look so beaten in her whole life, "Daddy, I didn't mean...."  
  
She started to apologize but he walked past her to his and Buffy's room.  
  
"Daddy!" She called after him.  
  
"I don't want to talk now, Brenna. Just go to bed." He told her as he opened his bedroom door and went inside.  
  
"But I didn't mean it...." She softly told the closed door.  
  
Buffy was sitting on the edge of the bed, "What's wrong?I woke up and you were gone and then I heard voices? Was it Brenna?"  
  
"She came in late from curfew and she'd been drinking." Spike pulled off his sweat pants and climbed into the bed next to his wife.  
  
"Drinking? Is she okay? That's not like Brenna." Buffy started to leave the bed, "Maybe I should check on her."  
  
He took her hand and pulled her back towards the bed, "Give her some time, you can have your go at her tomorrow. I grounded her two weeks, to school and home only, told her we would discuss the phone options tomorrow."  
  
Buffy climbed back into the bed and lay her head on his chest, "That sounds fair. I don't know what could have gotten into her though."  
  
"Reckon she's just being seventeen." He put his arm around her waist, "She doesn't think it's fair, said I treated her like a criminal. Brought up the fact that I had done dumb things like become a vampire, killing people etc." His voice cracked slightly.  
  
"She didn't mean that Spike. She was angry, she was lashing out at you. I'm sorry." Buffy kissed his lip softly,then pulled away to look at him, "She loves you, you're her dad, really and truly or she wouldn't have known which buttons to push so well."  
  
"There was some truth to what she said." Spike sighed as he pushed a stray hair behind her ear.  
  
"A long time ago, but she knows you aren't that person any more. It will be okay, she was in the wrong and she deserves the grounding. You'll talk tomorrow." Buffy rubbed his arm comfortingly.  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
Spike was up early, he'd not been able to rest all night. He sat at his desk going over some paperwork from the latest case Angel had sent to him. A soft knock on his door interrupted his attempt at work. "Come in."  
  
Brenna's petite form entered the room cautiously, her wavy brown hair pulled back in a ponytail.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"You feeling better this morning?" He asked as he closed the folder in front of him.  
  
"A little." She stood across from the desk.  
  
"Good, I guess you want to talk me out of the grounding?" He clasped his hands together and stared intently at her.  
  
"No." The word was so soft that even his enhanced hearing almost missed it.  
  
"No?" He looked slightly confused.  
  
"No, I deserve the grounding and I want to apologize for last night." Her eyes began to water.  
  
"Apology accepted just don't drink again."  
  
"The apology isn't for that, well it is, but I really wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said about you."  
  
The tears began to run freely down her cheeks as she walked around the desk, he met her halfway and pulled her into a fierce hug, "I love you, Daddy."  
  
"Apology accepted, sweet bit." She pulled away from him."You aren't mad at me?" She asked, unsure that it could be this easy.  
  
"No, you just proved you loved me." He told her with a smile.  
  
"How?"   
  
"You always hurt the ones you love."  
  
*********  
  
Public Displays  
  
"This is just embarrassing." Brenna told Tierney as they watched thier parents dancing much closer then anyone elses parents. At twelve years old she had begun to notice just how "lovey dovey" her parents really were.  
  
"What's embarrassing?" Tierney asked as she shoved a piece of Grandpa Gile's birthday cake into her mouth.  
  
"Look at them!" She pointed at Buffy and Spike just in time to catch a kiss between them, "That! No one else's parents are kissing out there."  
  
"I think it's nice." Tierney smiled at her parents.  
  
"Look at Uncle Xander he's not kissing Aunt Rachel, Grandpa Giles isn't hanging all over Grandma Emma and look even Aunt Dawn and Uncle Shawn aren't dancing that close." Brenna shook her head.  
  
"Whatcha doing?" Willow sat down between the two girls.  
  
"Watching mom and dad." Tierney answered around another mouthful of cake.  
  
"They look happy out there don't they?" Willow grinned as she watched Spike dip Buffy low, both of them laughing happily.  
  
"They do that all the time, touch each other, kiss all the time, no one else's parents do that." Brenna sighed.  
  
Tierney shrugged her shoulders and went to find one of Xander's daughters.  
  
"You're lucky to have parents who love each other like that, Brenna." Willow pointed at the couple as they went to the food table hand in hand. She and Brenna watched while Spike got Buffy's punch and she got cake for both of them. Buffy caught Brenna's eye and blew her a kiss.   
  
Brenna grinned at her mom and returned the kiss rolling her eyes. Willow gave Buffy a wave and a smile before she turned back to Brenna, "See how lucky you are, everyone can see how much they love each other and you know they love you that much too. So yeah, I'd say you were pretty lucky."  
  
"I never thought of it that way." Brenna nodded her head at Willow.  
  
"They went through a lot to get to where they are now, so I think they're allowed a few public displays of affection, don't you?" Willow smiled as she smoothed back Brenna's hair.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it's kind of neat, I mean they are way old and they still like to kiss." Brenna said thoughtfully.  
  
Willow swallowed her laughter, "Yes, it's kind of neat, amazing that they can still dance at thier age, even."   
  
Brenna nodded in agreement, as she watched her parents approaching them. "So what are you two discussing?" Spike asked as took the chair next to Brenna, Buffy on his other side.  
  
Brenna looked at Willow wideeyed. "Just how nice you and Buffy look tonight." Willow answered with a wink at the little girl.  
  
***************** 


	3. even more windowpanes

He"d Have It No Other Way  
  
Angel walked over the game in the livingroom floor and handed a folder to Spike, "I was on my way to Nashville, thought I'd drop this next bit of work off personally."  
  
"Thanks, Angel. " Spike asked as he chose two pieces that didn't match in the Memory game.  
  
"You should be better at that." Angel pointed out as he watched Spike playing with the girls.  
  
"Can't concentrate too well with you jabbering at me." Spike replied with an eyeroll.  
  
"You never win this game, Daddy." Tierney looked at him seriously.  
  
"Shh..." He put his finger over her mouth and grinned, "Think I'll talk to Angel and let you two finish up, okay?"  
  
"Okay." Brenna nodded at him, "We can play something you're good at later."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes at his daughter.  
  
Angel laughed at the remark, "Where is Buffy?"  
  
"Shopping, Dawn's in town." Spike told him as he sat down on the couch.  
  
"I'm thirsty." Tierney climbed up on the couch next to Spike.   
  
He stood and went to the kitchen returning with a sippy cup of juice for her. "Thanks, daddy." She answered taking the cup into her chubby hands.  
  
"I want a snack." Brenna told him as she put the game back in it's box.  
  
Spike exited the livingroom again and returned with another cup of juice and four cookies.  
  
"Juice for m'lady and cookies for both of you." He handed two cookies to each girl.  
  
"Thank you, daddy." Brenna beamed at him as she sat down on his other side.  
  
When they finished their snacks they were full of energy once again.  
  
After running around the livingroom for the third time before Spike stoped them, "Brenna, Tierney, stop running in the house!" Spike glared at them.  
  
"Yes, daddy." The little girls replied as they slowed down.  
  
"Sorry." Brenna told him as she sat down in front of the tv.  
  
"I don't want you to get hurt." He smiled at her , "What would your mom do to me if I let something happen to you?"  
  
"You would be in trouble." Tierney answered as she plopped down beside her sister.  
  
"Yes, I would be in lots of trouble." Spike reached out and patted her soft curls.  
  
Angel grinned from his chair, "They are a handful aren't they?"  
  
Spike nodded his head, "Yeah, they are."  
  
"But you wouldn't have it any other way would you?" The darkhaired man asked, his voice slightly wistful.  
  
"No, I really wouldn't." He smiled softly at the two small girls seated in front of him.....this was his life.  
  
Angel left the house later that night - he honestly was glad that Buffy was so happy. But sometimes his thoughts turned to 'what might have been'. He sighed as he drove off into the night.  
  
Spike and Buffy waved at Angel as he left, then they returned to the livingroom to play a game with their children and this time the little girls let their daddy win.  
  
********  
  
HALLOWEEN  
  
"You look beautiful!" Buffy told Brenna as she spun around the livingroom lifting the ballroom gown to show the clear slippers she was wearing to complete the Cinderella costume. Her hair was up and she wore a small tiara.  
  
"You'll be the prettiest girl at that Halloween Party." Spike told her as he left the room in search of his car keys.  
  
"Thanks, dad." Brenna smiled back at him.  
  
"What's Josh going as?" Tierney asked from place on the couch, she was dressed as Snow White and was waiting for her dad to drop her off at her own party down the street.  
  
"I don't know he wouldn't tell me." Brenna answered with a small frown as she felt a tendril of her hair fall out of place, "I've got to go fix my hair, if he comes tell him I'll be done in a minute."  
  
Brenna had no longer left the room when the doorbell rang, Tierney sprang from the couch to answer it. She burst into giggles when she saw Josh at the door, "Come in, Josh." She invited through her laughter.  
  
Buffy had to fight back her own giggle when she saw the sixteen year old with his hair slicked back and his long black cape.  
  
"What's so funny, Tierney? I'm Count Dracula, nobody to laugh at." He snarled him lip showing her a fake fang with blood on it.  
  
"I'm sorry, it's just that........well I don't think the real Count actually looked like you do." Tierney tried to explain as she controlled her laughter.  
  
"There was no Count Dracula, Tierney. No such thing as vampires." Josh shook his head and adjusted his black cape, "Now where is your sister?"  
  
"You might be surprised at that, Josh." Tierney started but was interrupted by her mom,"Tierney go help your dad find his keys so you can get to your party. Josh, have a seat, Brenna will be right out." Buffy shooed Tierney into the kitchen and sat down across from Josh still trying to maintain herself as she looked at the fake fangs.  
  
"Found them!" Spike turned around to find Tierney standing behind him, he dangled his keys, "You ready?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm ready. But before we go out there, I have to prepare you, Josh is here." Tierney choked back a laugh, "In costume."  
  
"So, he's not dressed up like some poncy fluffy shirt pirate or something is he?" Spike asked as he started towards the livingroom.  
  
"Worse, he's......he's Count Dracula." Tierney did a terrible Transylvanian accent.  
  
Spike's grin widened, "Oh, I've got to see this."  
  
Brenna entered the room with a "Hello, Josh......" Her eyes widened in horror at his costume, "You're ...you're a vampire!"  
  
"Now that's the reaction the Count is supposed to get!" Josh stood up and puffed out his chest.  
  
"Has my dad seen you?" Brenna asked softly.  
  
"No, Sweetie, your dad hasn't seen Josh yet. Should I call him?" Buffy smiled sweetly at the daughter.  
  
"No, mom. That's okay." Brenna steered Josh towards the door, "I'll be back by curfew. Love you."  
  
"Love you too, Sweetie, have a good time." Buffy stood up in time to see Spike coming through the kitchen door.  
  
"Hey there, let me see that fine costume before you go." Spike called out to Josh.  
  
Josh turned his cape billowing behind him, "You like it, sir?"  
  
"Yeah I do, do you have the fake fangs and everything?" Spike asked a wicked smile on his face.  
  
"Yes, I do." Josh curled his lip to show off the plastic fangs, "Cool, huh?"  
  
"Very, but not quite as well made as mine." Spike snarled and showed him a bit of fang.  
  
Josh jumped back slightly bumping into Brenna who was openly glaring at her father now, "Those look very realistic, sir."  
  
"Got 'em at a Specialty Store years ago, don't get to show them often." Spike raised his eyes at Brenna and grinned. She only glared more, "Bye, daddy."  
  
"Bye sweetie." Spike called out as he watched the two teens leave.   
  
"That was really terrible of you, Spike." Buffy grinned at her husband.  
  
"I think it was funny!" Tierney laughed, "You scared him, dad. Big bad Count Dracula."  
  
"You ready to go?" He asked as Tierney grabbed her jacket.  
  
"Yeah, I'm ready." She went out the door ahead of him.  
  
"I'll be back to suck your blood." Spike waggled his eyebrows at Buffy suggestively putting on his worst Dracula accent.  
  
"I'll be waiting anxiously." She waggled her eyebrows back at him.  
  
"Daddy, could you and mom stop long enough to take me to the party, please?" Tierney stuck her head back in the house.  
  
Buffy and Spike both broke into giggles as he left with their youngest daughter in tow, Buffy mouthed the words, "I'll be waiting," with a wink as she waved them out the door.  
  
************  
  
YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TOO  
  
He pulled the car into the driveway feeling like he was going to pass out. What was supposed to be a scouting trip for information had turned almost deadly. Spike had claw marks across his face and chest and he thought maybe a couple of ribs were broken. He hit the horn on the car praying that he didn't waken the neighbors.  
  
Buffy heard the car horn and peeked out the window. It was Spike's car, why was he honking? She tightened her robe and went out the car. She immediately knew something was wrong, Spike was slumped over the steering wheel, if it was possible for him to be any paler he was. She pulled the door open quickly, "Spike!" She reached to touch his arm and pulled her hand back covered in sticky blood, "Spike!" She repeated his name a bit more frantically this time.  
  
" 'S okay. I'm just a bit weak." His speech was slighty slurred as he tried to get out of the car.  
  
"What happened? I thought this was supposed to just be a bit of information gathering not extreme violence!" She helped him out of the car, keeping her strong arms around him she led him into the house.  
  
"Guy knew Angel......didn't like him much so I got beat up in his abscence." Spike explained as she led him to their bedroom.  
  
"Sit here, I'll get the first aid kit." She looked worried as she left the bedroom.  
  
"I'm okay." He muttered as he removed his shirt and wished for a way to hide the gaping wound directly under his heart. When she saw that she was going to have a fit.  
  
Her eyes widened at the sight of the wound on his chest, she looked at him, fear and anger fighting for control of her face, "Spike......"  
  
"It's okay, Buffy." He replied weakly, placing a shaky hand on her arm.  
  
"This was close, too close. What if?" She couldn't finish the sentence but silently went to work on cleaning and bandaging the wound. Her eyes filled with tears and she had to stop and wipe them before she could finish wrapping his chest.  
  
"Mom?"Tierney called out peeked around the open door, "Is something wrong?" She was caught off guard by the sight of her dad on the bed. She had never seen him look so beaten. At twelve years old she knew exactly what her daddy was but his weakened condition scared her. She ran to the bedside, "Daddy, daddy!"   
  
"It's okay, Tier. I'm okay." Spike reached to push her hair from her face trying to calm her while Buffy looked on, her lips pursed tightly as she watched the little girl crying beside the bed.  
  
"Is he gonna die?" Tierney looked at her mother through her tears.  
  
"No, sweetie, he's not going to die. Here why don't you open those bandages for me and you can help me fix him up." Buffy tried to stay calm, even smiling at Tierney as she handed her the bandages.  
  
"Yes, poppet, you can help mom fix up your old dad." Spike winced as Buffy applied antiseptic to a cut above his eye.  
  
Tierney concentrated on opening the the bandages and handed them to her mother when instructed. Spike still looked weak as they propped him against the pillows. "You look bad, daddy."  
  
"I don't feel so good either. But I'll be okay, better by tomorrow even. You go on to bed now, please." He kissed her cheek and tried to smile through the pain as he settled back on the bed.  
  
"You can come check on him first thing in the morning." Buffy told her as she too kissed her cheek and sent her out of the room.  
  
"Okay, night." Tierney sighed as she left the room.  
  
Once Buffy was sure that their daughter was back in her bed, she climbed on to the bed beside her husband and moved her hair back from her neck, "You need blood now." She told him as she pulled him closer to her.  
  
"Got some in the fridge, Buffy." Spike looked hesitant.  
  
"Human will be better for you. It will be fine, not like you haven't done it before." She fussed at him as she guided him to her neck. She winced slightly at the pain of the bite then began to stroke his hair as he fed, her free arm holding him tightly.  
  
After a few moments he pulled away cleaning the small puncture wounds and kissing her lightly on the lips, "I feel better already. You are the best medicine, luv."  
  
"That was too close, Spike." Her voice rose ever so slightly, " You are always on me about being careful for the girls sake. You saw Tierney tonight.....she was so afraid for you."   
  
"I'm okay, Buffy." He took her hand as she lay back next to him.  
  
"You are this time, but how about the next time you just decide to plunge into a fight, Spike?" She turned to him her eyes full of love and worry, "You have a family now, you have to be careful too."  
  
He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Will it make you happy if I promise to be careful from now on out?"  
  
She smiled at him and nodded her head, "Yes, that would make me very happy."  
  
He smirked at her as he moved his hand across his heart, just above the sterile white of the gauze bandage, "I promise to be more careful from now on."  
  
She smiled at him then, "See that you do." And then she kissed him good and proper.  
  
************* 


	4. yet more

Sorry this is so short, real life has been keeping busy ~ Andra  
  
Double Edged  
  
The softly spoken words still rushed through his head, "She's gone. I'm sorry Spike. Dru's gone."  
  
Gone, his dark lunatic girl gone forever. Buffy had done her best to break it to him gently, he could see the sympathy and a little bit of ...fear in her hazel eyes. She'd stepped back and given him space to grieve. His sunlight girl always knowing what to do......he'd have to do something about that fear she'd briefly shown, let her know that she was still most important to him. But now, now lying alone in the dark he was thinking about raven hair and dark eyes, maniacal laughter and sharp crimson nails.  
  
He loved Buffy without a doubt, he loved her children as if they were of his blood, but there was that little space in his heart that would always care for Dru. He'd been her caregiver for so many years it was hard to give that up, he was never sure if she truly loved him back, maybe she wasn't capable of it. But for over a hundred years she had given him purpose - she had let him care for her. She had been the first woman aside from his mother that had allowed him to care, to love.  
  
Buffy stuck her head in the girls room to make sure they were sleeping. Two little heads rested on Disney pillow cases sleeping contentedly having no idea about the turmoil in the room down the hall.  
  
For an instant she wondered if she should stay here with them and leave him to his grief. For the first time in a long time she felt that maybe he didn't want to share something with her. She shook her head and closed the bedroom door, taking a deep breath she walked down the hall to their bedroom door.  
  
She paused outside the door for a moment fully realizing how ridiculous it was to do so, he knew she was there he always knew.  
  
He could feel her there outside their door, anxious, unsure of what to do. He wanted to call to her, tell her it was okay, but it wasn't.....his grief was real. He closed his eyes conjuring up her image, dark hair and eyes, crimson nails, his dark goddess. He opened his eyes and stared at the door, his sunlight waited on the other side. He watched as she hesitantly pushed the door open and entered the room.  
  
"It's okay, luv. Come on in." He gave her a half smile.  
  
"I thought you might want to be alone." She replied softly that hint of fear, unsurety showed briefly in her eyes again.  
  
"No, always would rather be with you." He sat up in the bed opening his arms to her. She went to him and fell into the arms pulling him closer to her.  
  
"I'm sorry, so sorry for you." She whispered against his neck.  
  
"I know you are." He answered his face in her pretty blond hair.  
  
She pulled away and looked in his eyes, "Is their anything I can do to make it better?"  
  
He wrapped a golden curl around one finger and gave her a small smile, "Just hold me okay?"  
  
"Not a problem," She lay down next to him gathering him against the warmth of her body.  
  
"I know this is hard for you, Buffy." He grasped the hand around his waist and gave it a gentle squeeze.  
  
"No..it's..." She started but he interrupted.  
  
"I see it in your eyes, but there's no need for worry. It's like....it's like an old friend has died and I hadn't seen her in years and...there's just an empty space of ...." He began.  
  
"Regret?" Buffy asked softly, hesitantly.  
  
"Maybe but not in a 'I regret not seeing her or being with her way'," He sat up on the bed pulling her with him his arm around her as she cuddled close, "It's more in a I owed her a thank you and never got to tell her."  
  
"A thank you?" Buffy turned her face up towards him, confusion in her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, a thank you for bringing me to you. If Dru hadn't met poor dumb Wiliam...."  
  
"Not dumb, sweet William." Buffy lightly argued with a small smile.  
  
"Okay, if Dru hadn't met 'William' all those years ago and changed his life, there would be no Spike. No Buffy and Spike." He kissed her lightly on the lips then, "People come in and out of our lives for a reason."  
  
"So, I shouldn't worry?" She returned the kiss with a little more fervor.  
  
He pulled away for a moment, "Never you are the love of my life." He spent the next few hours proving that.  
  
Several days later.......  
  
"Bye. Have a good time." Spike told the girls as he stopped at the Chuck E Cheese in the early darkness of a winter's night.  
  
"We will." Brenna and Tierney waved at him as Buffy walked them into the restaurant for a birthday party.  
  
She soon returned to the car, "Could you please stop at the Florist?" She asked as the approached the huge sign with the bouquet of flowers on it.  
  
"Okay, but why?" He asked as he pulled into the parking lot.  
  
"I have an order to pick up, I'll explain on the way." She told him as she opened her door.  
  
"On the way where?" He asked as he watched walk into the florist, his wife was full of surprises.  
  
She soon returned to the car with two sprays of flowers in her arms, "We need to go the cemetary over on Bartlett Ave."  
  
"Okay." He started the car, "Are you going to explain now?"  
  
"I need to put flowers on David's grave." She answered softly.  
  
Spike nodded, not sure what to say, she had never taken him to the grave before. "Wait a minute, you have two sets of flowers, who are the others for?"  
  
"Those are for Dru, I know it's not exactly the same but I thought they could be your thank you to her." She sighed waiting for his reaction.  
  
He smiled brightly at her, "You're wonderful, did you know that?"  
  
"I try." She told him as he parked the car.   
  
He followed her to a corner of the cemetary surrounded by pretty trees. She solemnly placed her flowers on the grave that held David's name and the inscription, "Beloved husband and father."  
  
He watched her carefully as she touched the name on the stone, a lone tear traveled down her cheek. She brushed it away apologetically when she realized he was staring at her.  
  
He took her hand away from her face, "Don't....you never have to apologize for loving him, he was a wonderful husband to you, he gave you Tierney and Brenna. Like I said the other day, people come in and out of our lives for reasons."  
  
She smiled then, "You would have liked him."  
  
"I think so too." He held her hand tightly.  
  
"You can lay these beside his grave if you'd like for Druscilla. David wouldn't mind." Buffy handed him the flowers.  
  
Spike took the flowers as he let go of Buffy's hand and knelt on the ground beside the stone. "Thank you, Dru." He whispered softly as he patted the ground where the flowers lay. Buffy stood behind him, her hand resting on his shoulder.  
  
They left the cemetary hand in hand, two people in love, acknowledging those who had come before and between. 


End file.
